Boundaries are an integral part of relationships. The benefits of boundaries are that they give us the flexibility to let positive people into our lives and to keep toxic people out. When our circle of confidence is very small our boundaries are weak and we are apt to put up with behavior and words from people that are not good for us. This is due to having had life experiences that did not encourage strong boundary development. Fortunately, as adults, we can learn to grow who we are and take action that will increase our self-confidence. This in turn will lead to enlarging our boundaries to reflect our new way of seeing ourselves.
1. How do you increase your circle of confidence?
I think that the most important factor is believing that one is worthy of feeling better about oneself. That is a simple concept on one level but difficult to really feel on the inside. My experience in growing people has been that at first you just have to say it to yourself and believe that you will grow into feeling it after you have taken some action.
2. Confidence develops by taking responsibility for yourself
No one else can do this work for you. If you want to expand your confidence and have stronger boundaries you have to take responsibility for doing the work. Look at it as a journey of discovering your authentic self and enjoy the process.
3. Let others help you in this journey
Take a mental look at the people who are in your life. Let the ones that are positive support you in your journey. Set limits with the ones who discourage your progress or undermine it. Understand that when a person starts internally growing and responding more authentically that others will try to pull them back to the old familiar equilibrium. That is to be expected and you need to focus on staying on the course you have set for yourself.
As your confidence grows you will experience a change in the invisible boundary circle around you. You will enjoy who you are more and build satisfying relationships.
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